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I have a confession to make: I’ve been having therapy for the last 10 months.   That wasn’t too difficult to admit, but I can’t say it’s something I openly tell people.  I originally went to tackle performance anxiety (no, not that sort of performance!) which we dealt with very successfully.  However, that process made me want to examine other areas of my life which I felt had led to this point, and so I decided to plunge into the depths of my psyche.

Stirring up apparently still waters definitely muddies the water for a while, and I certainly have found some interesting things lurking amid the pondweed.  Occasionally the waters gently lap once more and I can see clearly for a distance, and then I get the urge to stir them up once more.  It’s a bit like picking at a particularly stubborn spot.

I find it really interesting that all hypnosis and meditation exercises encourage you to descend into water (perhaps taking you back to the womb?) and there is comfort to be found in your own “pool”.  Sometimes I’m happy floating in there, but other times I feel like both Perseus and Andromeda – the rescuer and the damsel in distress – looking in the water to avoid gazing directly at the monster of Medusa and then realizing that she is also part of me.

Confused?  Join the club!

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